Monday, January 13, 2014

Oh wonderful Daily Mail diet

A few weeks ago I read in the DM about this wonderful diet: two days eat practically nothing, normal for the rest of the week.
As I could benefit from a loss of permafat around the waste (named after permafrost; the layer of body fat that always remains) and have suffered from wanderfat as well; the grease that mass-migrates underneath the epidermis to the hips, I decided to give this diet a go,
Here my experience per week:
Week 1: severe stomach pains, lost 150 grams
Week 2: lost 75 grams, gained 350. Yellow stars and bolts of light. Sounds.
Week 3: voice if my mother in my left ear. No weight loss
Week 4: 75 gram loss. I blink slowly and often. Colleagues tell me that my breath smells "funny"
Week 5: I can't work anymore. I can only crawl, my joints hurt.
Week 6: 150 grams loss ! My stool is a tepid liquid. My hair starts to fall out.
Week 7: gained 2 kg. I can't find my glasses anymore, seem to have lost my left shoe.
Week 8: I give up. My weight is back to normal, the twitching is slowly disappearing.

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